BARK BARK GUCCI ALERT!

I apologize.

Small dogs are not useless. I have been saying that small dogs serve no purpose. I was wrong.

I am sorry to all small dog owners.

This holiday season I have had the fortunate chance to have a one of these micro-canines within my personal space bubble.
First off I need to explain my concept of the bubble. Everyone has one. It’s the space in which we feel comfortable. The distance between you and the annoyance or threat. The distance you need in order to execute a painless escape if the situation warrants.
My bubble , depending on the circumstance, changes size. People that are too good looking tend to expand the bubble to about 20 feet. Dogs will expand the bubble to about 30 feet. People from New Jersey cause my bubble to expand to about 3000 miles. You get the idea.

So I was in WHOLE FOODS gathering nuts and berries to take back to store inside the tree. WHOLE FOODS is rather overwhelming. Too many things to choose from and way too many skinny folk that force me to expand my bubble to about 19.5 feet. That means the isles, pretty much, have to be clear of these skinny folk for me to enjoy shopping. It’s a good thing. I tend to rush in and rush out. My bubble is causing me to loose weight and therefore reduce my skinny bubble to a manageable size.

Whole Foods has this sad section.
This is the section you see lonely people at. The section that would have been really busy on Christmas had the store been open.
The section I shop in.
The SINGLE SERVING prepackaged meals. Love Lorne Lasagna, Aging Queen Quesadilla, Miss Havashim’s Corn Chowder. I was reaching for a Quesadilla when I was bumped out of the way by a 115 pound “chick” with a tiny shaking dog swaddled and tucked deep under her arm. She was reaching for some jumbo meals on wheels-type pre-packaged lonely food that I can picture she would feed to her lil' freak pup.
I wanted to jump back because my bubble was secretly invaded by this creature that by all accounts should not exist. Tiny, short haired, weepy bug eyed, shitty bung holed lil pest. And that dog she was holding... What purpose do these thing serve in the grand universal scheme? Are there Mayan pyramids guarded by packs of these rat sized dogs with the matchstick legs? Perhaps there are tiny pyramids hidden in the jungle? They could be very small and easy to overlook.

They cant live in the wild because they seem to be shivering in 70 degree weather. The can barely walk. They cant outrun predators. What are these damn things good for?

They are class detectors.

The detect the non Fendi bagged offenders. They sniff out people that are suitable for their owners to talk to. The smell net worth and report back to their owners thru a series of body twitches. Like a bee returning to the hive and dancing the directions to the pollen for the other hive-dwellers. These little dog-like things dance vibrate signals to the host to let them know a 10 figure income is near.
It didn’t signal her owner that I was near and therefore I did not exist. She bumped me out of the way to get her dog food. The same food I would soon be eating.

All the comforts of...

There is something about the house that makes me feel “at home”. Perhaps its because its full of furniture from our families home in hollywood. The old Hollywood house has always seemed to be the home that got away. When I was 5 my mum and dad split up. I can remember the day it happened because it was the first time I saw my mom cry. It wasn’t the last. She cried about 10 years later when she asked the oh so delicate question “are you a fag?” She chose her words. She chose to use those. Go figure. This house has the table I crawled up on to try and tell my mom it was OK. I had no idea why she was crying. I didn’t know what to do All I could do was say it’ll be alright. That table was the centerpiece to the one family thanksgiving where grandparents came to be with us. A faded time. A happier time I presume. The memories have no contrast. Its all a milky blurry memory.
The table is no longer the centerpiece of the dining room. The dining room with the black and white checkerboard floor. Its found a new use, in the new home as the work table in the office. It served its purpose then and now. This is the table of which great works of art are created. Wonderful photo/paint on canvas works. Its much smaller then I remember. I know that it had leaves in it that extended the table. Those inserts have been lost over time. Oh ...

The couch downstairs is the couch I used to hide under as a kid. When I moved my cat over to the house he went under there and would not come out. I crawled under there to comfort him and realized I didn’t want to come out either. All the feelings of “home” came flooding back. I don’t think I have felt that safe since I was five. I could sleep under that couch. I don’t fit that well under there now. Sorry to babble folks but I am at work and trying to post without my cubemate reading over my shoulder.

the dangers of blogging

O.k. rule number one. Never use your own name.
Great. got it. now whats the other rule?
Never use the real name of the "other one".
Now whenever anything goes whacko this floats from his mouth: "Great.. well at least you'll have something to write about."


He must have read my blog.

Well guess what. I'm not writing about it.

Suprised?

More stupid questions.

Please help me. This is another useless Question that is using brain space.

I now know the origin of the CHILI SIZE.

Now I need to know the origin of THE PATTY MELT.

Well the next post is actually about....

CHILI SIZE.

What the hell is a chili size? I've seen it on diner menus but never understood the origin of the term.

Well here it is and its originated in Los Angeles too!

Chili was once called “size” in the town known a L.A. “Size” came into usage by way of one Ptomaine Tommy, once proprietor of the largest and best known chili parlor in the city. Ptomaine Tommy served straight chili and an epical Southwestern variation, a hamburger smothered with chili. He had two ladles, a large and a small. When a customer ordered straight chili, he got out the large ladle. When he wanted the other, he usually said “Hamburger size.” So Ptomaine Tommy put up one sign that read HAMBURGER SIZE 15¢, and another that read CHILI SIZE 20¢. Other chili joints followed suit and before long chili was know throughout Los Angeles as “size”. They’d say, “Just gimme a bowl of size.”


Now I know. Now you know.

Knock Knock…

Last night he shows up on my doorstep. I had a horrible day and I was sinking fast into depression He apologized and that was a quick band-aid for the problem. The bigger thing( that is subject verboten ) is why do you flake and not call? I only know that when I have done that I was high. I know its high behavior. I can guess that he was at the bath house and sky high. That’s the answers since he wont tell me whats up.

He did say that he loves me and he’s sorry he did that.

Cant wait for the next time this happens!

trust that no one will ever help you.

So let me tell you about my happy weekend . Sorry but I need to vent.
Greggory was going to help me with some moving. With that in mind I packed some heavy damn boxes and lugged them downstairs and put them in the trunk of the car. Books you know . The HEAVY book boxes. We have all had em and dread lifting them. Easier with two people.
So Greggory calls me in the morning and says hes coming back from doing his laundry and that well go over to the other place about 1pm. So we agree on a time. About 1230pm I show up at his place and he’s not there. His room mate says he packed a bag and went over to my place. The thought he was with me. So I text him that I’m at his place and guess what…
He calls.
“I’m over at friends… I thought you said 1 o clock?”
“Do you want me to pick you up?”
“No I’ll meet you back at the Apartment”
“Ok I’ll just drive home”
So I drive home.
1pm comes around.
His phone doesnt pick up. 1:20pm comes around and I call him again.
He picks up.
“hey are you on your way? “
“yeah I’ll be leaving in a bit”
“how long will it take you”
Oh about an hour or so”
“ya know what forget it. You are wasting my time. You are really know how to hurt my feelings. Enjoy your friends” click

I feel stupid for thinking he’d help me. I feel stupid for trusting what he says. I feel depressed and not too smart for thinking he is my friend.
He would have had me waiting all day. He has no reguard for other people. When you say you are going to be somewhere, meeting someone, be on time. Or call and tell that person your gonna be late. IS THAT SO FUCKIN HARD?

I feel pathetic for accepting this type of attention. I still feel its better than being alone. He is a nice guy but... this sucks.

Look I dont need to make sense I just need to write stuff down.

happy sunday. everyone.

YEP I GOT STOOD UP. and this is what goes on in my head.

In his head.
Searching for what I cannot describe. I know it when I see it. I know I will. Because I'm not stupid goddamnit! I know it must be grand whatever it is. Something not seen. Something physical yet not. Perhaps it is found in the eyes and untold stories of countless strangers. Perhaps that cute lil coworker will help me discover it. Perhaps it lies within me and I just need to find the right person to unlock it. I love you but your not what I want right now.

In mine.
Try this on for size asshole:
There is nothing more. THIS IS IT. Now be fuckin happy with what you got. It wont get any better and your searching will only make it worse. Take the next off-ramp. It will take you to the hatred I feel right now.

I dont like being hurt. I dont handle it well. I tend not to make sense when I speak. My words clouded in rage. (yet my spelling get better... go figure)

I love this guy and he says he loves me but I fear he has a drug problem that he cant kick. He is making an effort. (or so he says) He's depressed and causing me to sink into one too. This is not the deal I prayed for God.
Damn this Twilight Zone universe!

My father’s legacy… to the world.

I have my fathers sense of humor.
There is no two ways about it. I’m pretty damn sure humor (or lack of) is in the genes.
I try to hide it. I try to suppress it. It just bubbles up from time to time.
Its like a tasteless tacky volcano that can erupt at any given moment.
I have no control. It as if I become momentarily possessed by the souls of Shecky Greene, Moe Howard, Norm Crosby and Nipsey Russel all at the same unfortunate time.

God help my co-workers.
(and not the god that George Bush talks to. Im pretty sure he doesn’t exist)

KING KONG

I liked it.
It was everything I expected and more. From top to bottom this is a great film for me. It does seem long but its the only way you can feel the emotion from KONG. He is one lonely monkey and this tiny woman is the only person he can relate with. It a relationship of circumstance. If you dont know what I mean rent Kiss of the Spider woman.

Jackson has done a wonderful job and knows just what I want to see.

KOKO's NEW KITTEN

So there are many things you can say about King Kong.
Choose your argument:

1. A big black hand grabbing a lil white woman.
1a. Its a damn movie and monkey does not mean black man. Get over your damn self.

2. Anne Darrow can be seen as a tiny pussycat to koko the giant gorilla.
2a. Anne Darrow pulles her self out of depression and finds herself in a unique situation. She is powerful and manipulates the primate to her advantage using her understanding of the pee brained monkey. She's had a lot of experiance with that.
2b. she becomes a dancing monkey for his and our amusement. not too cool.

3. Its too long.
3a. It shows you everything you ever wanted to see KONG do for that it is just right.
3b.its three seperate movies tied together to tell a story. They cant be considered chapters because each story has a resolution.

4. I dont like the music.
4a I love the fact they included the Max Stiener score very appropriatly.

5. Jack Black has to deliver THE line at the end of the film. The words are not easy to say for anyone.



New jersy people have no reguard for theater etiquite. I was next to some Sopranos asshole who was on the phone thru the whole damn film.Texting with the beep sound from his phone buttons. BEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP. Damn bright phone screen flashing on and off. He came late and was the 35 year old boyfriend of the 16 year old jersy girl in the row in front of us. She was texting him during the movie. When the film was done she said she saw the original on tv the one with the twin towers. She also said very loudly OH MY GOD I"LL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

This was some event. I have no idea how someone would orginize this. there must have been over 3000 people and two theaters. Thee was a lifesize kong in times square and the party was designed very well.
When we got out of the theater and it was snowing. Real snow with flakes that looked like the flakes you see in cartoons. They popped you on a bus and sent you down to the some pier. (you son find out its the pier that the VENTURE is docked. the fist thing you saw when you walked in is the bow of the venture. The boat that transports kong.
The party was split into themes from the film
there was a huge skull island area .
A depession era new york area
a caberet area and finally a place that was reserved for people who are not me.
I dont feel bad other people who we in my catagory included that damn guy from prison break (the older brother not Wentworth Morris)

more pictures of city island

Snow man with a trash man lurking behind him

HELL HAS HOT COFFEE

And this place has Ice Cream.

Im sure the snow blinded lion is the thing that really pulls people in. ITS FREEZING HERE!!! I dont even know why the bother building this place. Damn the Ice cream would be just fine outside.

This is NOT L.A.

People drive like crazy here. In L.A. if you cut someone off you at least have a little driver guilt. Here the taxis are flying and everone is honking like it actually helps move traffic along. I learned the honking works. People in the village j-walk and they dont look for traffic. Its like... Tiajuana. No regard for gridlock its a trip! The city is larger than what I expected. I mean that its a tall damn city. Its like a maze of tall buildings. Some of the streets are as wide as the ally behind my apartment and these strees are lined with towering brownstones. I feel very out of place here. Its exciting but there is no feeling of safety in the city. In L.A. I can read the attitudes of people and here its a whole different ballgame. Body laguage if different and people i would expect to be rude smile and make polite conversation.
Tomorrow we return to the city to go shopping and buy clothes for the KING KONG premire and of course pick up that special "only from New York non-chachkey gift for Greggory.

the mural at the end of the road

At the end of the block is a mural of 911. This is the little detail in the left hand corner. Creepy, morbid, heartfelt and sweet at the same time.

Snow.

Ok I knew it would be cold but I didnt expect snow.
I took a walk this morning and found the little cemetary we shot passed yesterday. in the back you can make out some of the boats in the harbor. About two years ago there was a tragic boat accident that inolved some teenagers taking a boat out from this point and never returning alive. This whole island seems to be a memorial to the dead. Everything on the island seems to have a plaque on it in honor of the dead. The ceter of town has a little park that is in honor of the MEN who fought in WWI. Wherever they can honor the dead... they do.


We went into the village today and had lunch at a little italian place. We had just enough time to go to Origins before we had to pick up the little one from grandmas.
The island is cold but damn the city is colder. The wind rips thru you. I was wearing like a millon layers but ... Greggory was right, LONGJOHNS! That damn wind was making my knees stiff and achy.

Shopping will be tomorrow.

Freaky place. You line up...FOR A TAXI!

I arrived in New York last night about 645pm and got to take my first NY cab right outta the gate. Its true NY cab drivers are shifty. My cabbie was this Haitian guy who pulled the "I don't know where you are going" routine and tried to take me another way. I guess its 45 bucks from jfk to anywhere in Manhattan and the scam is to try and make sure the passengers do not know this. He tried to charge more but... Oh well.

So... I'm in the Bronx and Its damn cold here!
Not just the Bronx.. A little place called City Island.
It looks like AMITY Island from "Jaws".

it's damn cold here did I mention that. I'm looking out onto the balcony and there are flowers blooming. HOW the hell is that possible? What are they Ice flowers? How can anything live in this cold? Let alone bloom? Freaky.


This is my first trip by myself. Its kinda scary but also exciting. I'm going to the King Kong premiere on Monday and fly back on Tuesday so I don't have a lot of time here.
I'm staying with friends in the Bronx and I think we are going into the city today.

Can I just tell ya that having direct TV on airplanes is not the best idea for people who are nervous about flying. I saw a wonderful TV show about planes going down in the Bermuda triangle. And IM glad I got to see that they found that missing plane back east. I couldn't tell you where that plane was because as soon as I saw the graphic of a downed plane on msnbc I think my brain shut down.

must get coffee. its 5:58am my time and I'm very sleepy.

National ( ) day?

So if they don’t like you they give you a day to tolerate you.
If they really don’t like you they give you a month (a sucky short month at that!)
I didn’t get any flowers nor do I have a news crew following me asking me to tell my life story. Did I get a halmark card? uhnooooo. What does this day do for me? Nothing. Does anyone care? Nope. Big fuckin special day. WHOO HOOO to promote awareness. Trust me I know about it. Now lets hope other people do too.

TO THE FOLKS I WORK WITH " YA'll a bunch of hateful bigots!"