YEP I GOT STOOD UP. and this is what goes on in my head.

In his head.
Searching for what I cannot describe. I know it when I see it. I know I will. Because I'm not stupid goddamnit! I know it must be grand whatever it is. Something not seen. Something physical yet not. Perhaps it is found in the eyes and untold stories of countless strangers. Perhaps that cute lil coworker will help me discover it. Perhaps it lies within me and I just need to find the right person to unlock it. I love you but your not what I want right now.

In mine.
Try this on for size asshole:
There is nothing more. THIS IS IT. Now be fuckin happy with what you got. It wont get any better and your searching will only make it worse. Take the next off-ramp. It will take you to the hatred I feel right now.

I dont like being hurt. I dont handle it well. I tend not to make sense when I speak. My words clouded in rage. (yet my spelling get better... go figure)

I love this guy and he says he loves me but I fear he has a drug problem that he cant kick. He is making an effort. (or so he says) He's depressed and causing me to sink into one too. This is not the deal I prayed for God.
Damn this Twilight Zone universe!