of my own making

Things closest to the heart I cannot speak about. I am however able to tell you why.
I don’t want to arm people with emotional ammo that they can fire back at me.
I don’t want to tell you how I feel for fear you may throw it back to me at a later date. Perhaps that action will be as effective as a flash bang grenade. A useful distracter to allow other actions to happen unnoticed. Perhaps it will be a grenade. Devastating and lethal. Or perhaps it will be used as a land mine. It will be dormant awaiting a mis-step to trigger a tragedy.