DVD VERDICT ON MACABRE PAIR OF SHORTS

A nice new review of Macabre Pair of Shorts:



Macabre Pair Of Shorts

Troma // 1996 // 80 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // June 22nd, 2006

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Judge David Johnson is just grateful this wasn't a documentary about Michael Herz's underwear


The Charge
A comedy of terrors!

Opening Statement:
Another Troma helping, but this time with David Boreanaz, star of TV's Angel and Bones! All 14 seconds of him!

Facts of the Case:
Macabre Pair of Shorts is a collection of horror-themed vignettes. The gimmick is this: a pair of slacker employees of Panavision stumbles across an obscure movie titled Macabre Pair of Shorts. Got it? Basically, the film chronicles a vampire couple watching TV, and then we, as the audience, watch what they're watching. It's like meta-meta-filmmaking.

What ensues is an anthology of Halloween-themed spooky stories as well as some parodies of popular films. Starting things off is a tale of two lipstick lesbian vampires on the prowl, who capture a hapless dude but are disappointed that he's got a rare blood disease, making him very unsavory. Then you get a modern riff on The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, where horses are swapped for bicycles and dirt bikes, followed by a surreal Twilight Zone-meets-Dr. Seuss spot, all of it capped off by a Die Hard spoof.

The most amazing thing? This is Troma and there's not a bare breast in sight!

The Evidence:
First things first: the much ballyhooed appearance by David Boreanaz needs to be downplayed. Troma is quick to trumpet the former Angel-star's "role" in the movie, and on the commentary track, director Scott Mabbutt even mentions that most people buying this film are doing it because of Boreanaz's inclusion. Truth is, the guy has a few lines of dialogue and an extended scene where a vampire—ironically enough—is gnawing at his arm. Yeah it's a minimal hoot to see him show up, but to validate the purchase of a movie simply on what is more or less a cameo, nope, not seeing it—unless you're his stalker of course.

Now that that's out of the way, I am happy to say that Macabre Pair of Shorts is pretty decent. While not laugh-out-loud funny, I did find the flick consistently amusing throughout. The movie-within-a-movie-within-a-movie gag is a bit contrived, sure, but it gave the whole thing a light, non-pretentious feel; the tactic isn't used as a kind of artsy-fartsy deconstructive strategy, but rather an excuse to string together a lot of disparate, weird crap.

My favorite segments were the Twilight Zone homage and the Die Hard denouement. The former was well-shot in black-and-white, and featured a mime force-feeding green eggs and ham to the narrator; that right there equals quality filmmaking. The latter proved to be the funniest—and cheesiest—portion of the movie as the film itself comes alive in a mass of writhing celluloid and pursues the Panavision employees, launching us into the Die Hard parody. It's fun and dumb, but mostly fun.

Basically, the overall feel of this film is of good-natured, fairly harmless parody. Blood and guts and debauchery are held at a minimum, the production values are better-looking than most homegrown Troma fare and the acting is appropriately ham-fisted. The laughs aren't copious (especially in the lengthy female vampire first story, which pretty much plays it straight), so those of you looking for a funny-bone stimulant may be disappointed.

Sadly, sound (2.0 stereo) and video (full frame) are both underwhelming, with a muffled audio and grainy, muddy transfer, respectively. Standing out amidst the usual assortment of Troma bonuses (trailers, book spots, some film festival snippets) is Mabbutt's commentary, a funny, self-deprecating track.

Closing Statement:
Macabre Pair of Shorts can stand on its own merit without resorting to a cheap marketing ploy proclaiming David Boreanaz's miniscule role.

The Verdict:
Not guilty. Hey, was that Seth Green's big toe?!?

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Unchained

So I get this E-mail (actually sent to me by several people) from my former job. Around the time I left the lead technical engineer decided it was time to pack it in as well. Only he had other plans. After years of living a lie and tons of therapy he was approved for gender reassignment. He left his job and started packing up his old life. He had the surgery and a month later met a man and was asked to be married at "The Top Of The Mark" in SF. I'm so happy that after 50 (or so) years of living a compartmentalized secret life She is now free to be herself. That wonderful but I cant help but think:
One month.
I guess would do the same thing. I'd jump into a new life like that if I had the chance. I'm sure she has got a whole plan for her new picket fence life. I'm sure I would too if I waited a lifetime to start living.


So...
One month huh?
I guess I'm just lazy.
Let me go get that great ol bread knife in the kitchen, slit and invert my penis.
Maybe then someone will ask me to marry them.

Yes yes yes its all about me.
I'm pleased for her and I'm pissed at myself. I have no desire to go Hedwig but what change needs to be done for anyone to even look at me?

Me me me... so ....
some weather huh?

As reported in the Contra Costa Times

"An average of 4.4 people die annually on rides at amusement parks, including both "mobile" parks such as county fair set-ups and permanent parks such as Disneyland, according to a 2005 study by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission."


Remember that next time you strap yourselves in with strangers. They may be the last people you will ever see.

(If you are one of the four or the horriblbly unfortunate point four.)

Shoot Day 12 Take 2.

Back at the location for the last time. This will be the end of our bar set. Sad to see it go. This was the first night shooting with filmmaker Trey Stokes. We cast him in our film as a police detective. Trey has got some of the best Star wars fan films on the net. Check out his "PINK FIVE" series Its darn good I must say. Next week we are back to the location that we had to scrap last week due to camera problems.


Filmmaker Trey Stokes (left) and actor John Laaks (right)
Trey and Sarah rehearse

shoot day 12

We had some problems with the camera and shoot day 12 had to be rescheduled. It is a location that is fairly easy to shoot in. An alley in the valley.

I bought a new camera with the extra cash I am picking up at my night job. I also bought a case for the damn thing so I dont break it as I did the last lil' camera. This one has a six mega pixel resolution of which I have been told is overkill for anything I'd ever need. (who the fuck determines what I need but me?) So I will have some pictures to share of the shoot tonight. All is well.

I have transferred the pictures from the shoot to my Ipod so if we need to match any previous shots we have pictures on set. I didn't want to drag my laptop to a location.
I have about 2500 pictures that have been taken so far of this shoot. The new camera can hold about 800 per memory card so I think I'll get at least a few good ones tonight.

Shoot day 9 10 and 11

Shoot DAY 9 WAS WONDERFUL!!!
Shoot DAY 10 we got some great footage despite my drunken need to intervene and interact with the actors. It caused some hideous disruption on the set. I learned something that night. I'm not a director. I trust Scott and his judgment but I was feeling buzzed and seemed to want to direct too. I told an actor what the previous shot was and asked him to recall and try to match that shot. It is not my place to do that. I over stepped my bounds. My job is to make sure every one is happy and to ensure we are on track with the production. That's all. By talking to the actor I was overstepping a boundary that is not to be oversteped. I enraged the director and learned a valuable lesson. I also learned that shooting a scene in the place that you live is not always the best idea. We shot day 10 in the place that I am currently living and the stress of making sure nobody screws anything up is overwhelming. Nobody did but still the stress is there. I'm happy to work with a crew that is aware of there surroundings and is courteous and helps clean up after the shoot. Everything was back in place vacuumed and cleaner than when they came in. Its a small crew so that helps. Thanks to Scott, Don, Matt and Chris for understanding my apprihention on shooting in the house. The actors are so understanding and empathetic. I love them. They are not only courteous but talented. I know it sounds like I'm full of shit but its true. This is the best group of people to work with. A great family. I'm dreading finishing this film because I love them all.
Shoot day 11 was brilliant. We secured a location the day before the shoot and walked into that location and fired off a couple of shots in a local bar. WOO!!! We just finished out the eve with booze at the bar and here I am typing drunk off my ass.
I love this movie! I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing. Great folks. The director is my best friend and damn... There is some bitchin eye candy to boot.

I love my job.

The Macabre Pair of Shorts (a trilogy in five or six parts)

Netflix has got it.
So does Best Buy, Amazon, Borders and Blockbuster.com

Thats a good thing.

In the New York Times

Macabre Pair of Shorts

Troma founders Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz (Period Piece) continue to push forward into the realm of the bizarre, surreal and campy with the 1996 feature film, Macabre Pair of Shorts,a self-proclaimed "comedy of terrors" written and directed by Scott Mabbutt. Done in the mold of such horror comedy classics as Creepshow and Tales from the Darkside: the Movie, Macabre spoofs traditional horror conventions while delivering a hair-raising frightfest. The premise relays the events that unfold one Halloween night when a couple of adventurous cinephiles discover an exceedingly strange reel of film at a motion picture equipment facility. Threading it up on the projector, they suddenly unleash a wacky, B-movie style parade of horrors - from crazed monsters to insatiable, bloodsucking female vampires. ~ Nathan Southern


The new film far surpasses this film in every respect. Scott cut the footage together from the 3days we shot last week and it is fantastic. There are things in the dailies that made me jump. I'm so damn pleased with this film.
Please be kind to MACABRE PAIR OF SHORTS but fear DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS.

shoot days 7 and 8

Going great. I'm exhausted from being sick but still everything is going perfect.
Last night we killed a barfly. Vampires seem to enjoy playing with their food. A little cat and mouse is always good for a chuckle right before the blood flows.
Tonight one of the vampires is sent back to the land of the dead. Poor thing she died in "vein". The unholy trinity is broken without a third vampire but... not broken for long.

Tomorrow night two more deaths. Who will they be? Our vampires may be down but not out. Hope finds a way.

Tonight (despite a nasty bout of food poisoning) the leader of our vampire trio, Elena, who plays Hope did one helluva dance number for our barfly before sending him into the great beyond.(what a horrible sentace that was!) Food poisoning or not she did one heck of a job doin' the sexy vampire dance.

I cant wait to kill more people tomorrow night. I'm beat and need to sleep.
It's a busy day 9 tomorrow.

Fine. I'll post something... but your not gonna like it!

This is some dark camp to be sure. I want to laugh and throw up at the same time.

and a little something extra

Oh and now an eye infection to go with that bronchitis. I feel like a petrie dish.