Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Public Service Announcement


Hi folks,
I'm here to tell you that what you eat when your young will catch up to you when you are older. You’ve heard people tell you this before. It is all true. Don’t go thru school eating only Otter Pops and Hot Tamalies. You cannot survive on food you find at parties. Chips with dip is not a meal. When the time arrives and your body says "here is the price you pay for having me operate using junk food as fuel” You'll wish ta God you listened to the countless people who told you.

For those people who told me not to eat junk. Here is your chance to say I told you so.

It has come down to this. There is a 70% chance whatever I eat, no matter what it is will just come right back up.

The pain is one hellava pain. So I lay here fetal on the couch watching the same Futurama DVD I put in last night. Simply because it hurts to get up and walkaround.I just have to hold out til Friday morning and I'll be ok.

The following list of food names I curse in pain:
Hot Tamalies
Marshmallow Peeps
Otter Pops
Twix
Tiramisu
Creme' brule
Alfredo sauce
Lucky charms (sans charms just the lucky bits)
ALL HOSTESS PRODUCTS
Ice Cream
Anything that goes on Ice Cream
The magical pig from which Ham, Bacon and Pork chops come from.
Mashed potatoes
Mole'
Taffy (salt water and "just plain")
CHEESE every last stinking bit of it.
Cheesefood products
Spray-on foods.

Damn you food items. Damn you all to hell!

7 Comments:

Blogger Luke said...

Food at the wedding:
beef enchiladas
chicken MOLÉ MOLÉ MOLÉ MOLÉ
carnitas
shrimp
rice & beans
green salad

Is there anything other than the salad that you're going to be able to eat?

12:57 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Luke said...

forgot dessert: cheesecake with chocolate-hazelnut crust and pomegranate sauce

also: nuts and bananas go on ice cream- are they bad?

12:59 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Gavin Elster said...

right now its everything. Next week this will all be a bad dream!!! Hell its your wedding I'll eat anything in honor of this union!

1:31 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger EmmaPeel007 said...

Grats on the good news, Luke! I suppose the reception will be held at the UA Warner Center 6? Will thhere be trays of Hot Tamales passes around?

2:16 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger WAT said...

Hey Scotty, a speedy recovery to you. Sounds bloody awful. At least you're not in Iraq.

2:35 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Luke said...

If you were in Iraq, they would have dealt with your gall bladder months ago so you could get back to the fun of war.

3:40 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Good point.

4:07 PM, February 22, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home