Here are 10 fine examples of the wit and wisdom of Tom DeLay:
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1) "So many minority youths had volunteered, that there was literally
no room for patriotic folks like myself."
--Tom DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP
convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not
fight in the Vietnam War.

2) "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?"
--Tom Delay, to three young hurricane evacuees
from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept.9,2005.

3) "I AM the federal government."
& nbsp; --Tom DeLay, to the owner of Ruth's Chris
Steak House, after being told to put out his cigar because of federal
government regulations banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003.

4) "We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper power."
-Tom DeLay, explaining why America must topple
Saddam Hussein in 2002 interview with Fox News.

5) "Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes."
--Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003.

6) "Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The
causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into
daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working
mothers who take birth control pills."
; --Tom DeLay, on causes of the
Columbine High School massacre, 1999.

7) "A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide
structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can't provide
stability, I'm not saying that... It does take a father, though."
--Tom DeLay, in a radio interview, Feb. 10,
2004.

8) "I don't believe there is a separation of church and state. I
think the Constitution is very clear. The only separation is that
there will not be a government church."
--Tom DeLay (date unspecified)

9) "Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on
$4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist.
Fortunately, such families do not exist."
--Tom DeLay, during a debate in Congress
on increasing the minimum wage, April
23, 1996.

10) "I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional officer. My
job is the Constitution of the United States, I am not a government
employee. I am in the Constitution."
--Tom DeLay, in a CNN interview,
Dec. 19, 1995.
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So, you see, my friends, there is a reason Tom DeLay
is one of the most popular men in Washington.

It's because he makes the president look slightly less stupid by
comparison