Valley plays

A few years back Scott, my film partner, agreed to videotape a local play as a favor to the playhouse.
I somehow was urged to see the play and see exactly what this play was about. I’m not one for local theater. I do enjoy a play or two here and there but this was not to be one of those times.
The theater was located on a main street in North Hollywood. The play had such promise it should have used a venue in West Toluca Lake. Perhaps they had bingo at the church and they had to do this play in North Hollywood.
The playhouse was an odd little storefront in what looks like blocks and blocks of storefronts. You know… Vacuum repair, travel agency, insurance broker, shower door repair, tombstones, sewing machine repair, and abandoned store kind of blocks. Flat, one story tan buildings with widows that have years of black street dirt caked in the corners. This playhouse must have been some sort of storefront years ago but it now houses the dreams of the hopeful and starry eyed.
We entered what was a very uncomfortably small theater. You had to walk across the black painted concrete stage floor to reach your metal folding chair located somewhere on the creaking plywood risers. The smell was that of plywood and mold mixed with tinge of adult boozer armpit. Thank god this place had air conditioning.
The play started with a woman sitting atop a plywood black box. A utility prop to be used throughout the show. Since there was no damn way they could have a set erected in the 5’ x 15’ painted concrete stage this box got reused several times. This was its stunning debut. As the woman in her new age hippie getup straddles the box as if she is in a lithium enhanced trance she screams at the top of her lungs.
AAAAAAAgggggHHHHHHH! “ I… AM MOoooTHEEEEERRRRRRR EEEEEAARTTTTTTHHHH!
She then proceeds to reach between her legs and into a little hole cut into the front of the box. From that little slit in the plywood she extracts what can only be described as some sort of Keith Herring Beanie Baby. She cradles it lovingly with both hands as if she is holding handfuls of rose petals. She then blows on the doll. I assume she is blowing life into this fuckin' thing but I’m still in shock from her I AM MOTHER EARTH yell.
Mind you this whole process takes about 2 minutes so it now feels like I’ve been there for 45 minutes. She lays the beanie baby down and repositions herself on the box facing stage left and pulls another kid from her box. Faces right, and another fuckin kid. Faces the back wall and does the same. Mother earth now has the whole set of beanie babies.
Red Brown Yellow and Whiter than White Whitey White. I sunk into a deep depression knowing I was trapped for as long as they felt it was needed to do whatever it was I was watching. I played games like:
What role is the box playing now?
Some answers to that would be:
Kitchen table
Counter at a convenience mart
Casket for a dead child.

Or my favorite game:
Who in the audience will die when the fire breaks out.
Answers:
Me.
Everyone but me.
Me along with all of these sad actors.

While I was told this play was a little over two hours I felt like I had just watched Peter Brook’s MAHABARATA twice.
The play ended up to be a racially charged musical based on the killing of a black girl by a korean grocer. A misunderstanding over orange juice that resulted in tragedy. A story that was in the LA times about 5 years prior to the performance of this play.

Thats right I said IT WAS A MUSICAL!

I am mother earth to 7-11 in the hood. What an ambitious project that was.

As we tried to leave the proprietor of this theater came out to ask what we thought and what we did for a living. We decided to dodge the first question. Scott covers brilliantly and tells her that he is a documentarian. I believe her name was Kathy. Kathy was wearing a denim oversized oxford shirt with Kitties embroidered on it. A little rolly polly woman with glasses and fat Zinfandel fingers. She cleverly sported what I’d perceived as the ageing theater broad haircut.

Kathy was a smooth talker.

Oh you make documentaries? So do I… Of course my first love ISSS the theeh AHH ter. In fact I’m in the middle of making an award winning documentary right now.
Its about…
And that’s where my memory fades or I saw something shiney.

I’ll never forget that night. I’ll never forget that fat little sausage telling me she is in the middle of making an award winning documentary.